Posted 6:08 PM by joann

We live in a hateful world. The human condition is such that we constantly fight amongst ourselves, with ourselves. We are all essentially evil. I will not miss this when I come to die but would rather miss what would have been if the world had been kinder. What that's left after death is that imagination. The imagination of that kinder world which continues after it has been removed from us in this life.

Posted 12:30 AM by joann

Learn to fly

My flight to Frankfurt will just be in a few hours. I'm a little nervous but mostly excited. I dread the long flight but at the same time love to hang around airports. I dunno. It feels different being in airports. I guess it's because I don't get to travel that often and that being in airports always mean something good. Except when I've to leave Juergen. Anyhow, in a strange way, I like checking in my baggage, walking on carpeted lounges, and feeling a little important and priviledged. A few more hours and I'll be in Frankfurt. Hallo Germany!/Juergen!

Posted 3:57 AM by joann

No time for breathers

I'm glad that I don't think that the world revolves around me.

Anyway, I've started packing my luggage even though I'd planned to do it tomorrow. I liked the spontaneity. I think I might be guilty of looking too far into the future.

This summer, I'd have loads to read up. I'd taken a look at the readings for Contemporary Social Theory and I'm guessing (actually I know) that what I'll be learning next semester would be much more than what I've learnt for the past three years at the Uni. It's all coming together. So I guess it's a good thing. I'm glad I did not take up Philosophy or Psychology because I'm quite sure I would be completely disillusioned. Sometimes, it's easier to be ignorant, simple and unworldly.

Three more days to meeting Juergen! I'm excited.

Posted 3:09 AM by joann

Hanging in there

Yep, boredom drove me to once again take a little browse here in my long-forgotten blog. I've not been treating it well. Maybe I'll renew my interest in HTML but right now, I'm too tired to even change the colours. Anyway, I'm still hanging in here. Must have been ages since I last blogged. Just dropping by here so that this little place that I own in the whole of the internet universe is still alive. I wonder if the archives would work 10 years later. It'd be fun to read then. Maybe by then, Channel 5 will still be showing delayed seasons of "Days of Our Lives" and I might still be watching them. Now, that's a scary thought.

Posted 8:39 PM by joann

A Little Piece of Heaven


on the shores of bintan

Posted 1:23 AM by joann

birthday girl

in the next hour, right about 22 years ago, i came into this restless world! restless or not, i'm glad i'm here. i had a really weird dream a long time ago. it was actually a dream of my very own existence. i know it's a little cliche but it was really about my existence. in my dream, i wasn't born. i was there looking at everyone else, my parents, my friends... and they didn't seem to notice me at all. their conversations did not once include me. i was never talked about or thought of. and in this dream, i even knew that i did not exist. it frightened me so much to think that i never came to being. i cried in my dream. i found myself crying too when i woke up.

i'm happy that i'm here and i'm comfortable with whom i've become. i'm grateful to everyone and for everything. if i were to compare myself to adrian mole again, heh! my life isn't that bad!

Posted 12:11 AM by joann

take me there

the quiet banks of the ems.